Friday, December 31, 2010


I don't understand why I have such a difficult time standing up for myself.  What's the deal with that?  Why do I feel guilty asking our landlord to get with the program and fix all most of the problems with our apartment.  It's their duty as a landlord to take care of their properties.  These aren't things that we caused - issues that were existing when we moved in last month.  It shouldn't bother me the way it does, and for that reason I sent an email today asking them (nicely) to take care of it.

And it's not just that - what happened to make me give in so much?  Am I too much of a people-pleaser?  I don't feel like one, but am I really the one to ask about that?  I don't think I'm a perfectionist, but I've had multiple people over the years tell me that I am. 

I'm quite sure I have a backbone - I stand up pretty straight, so I know there's one in there.  How do I bring it out in the open? 

Happy New Year.  Here's to hoping for a stronger will, at times.


Ben and Jade said...

I am just like you. I have no problem offending people I know well and should be soft and kind to. But strangers? Especially those I know I'll have to deal with professionally again? I just can't bring myself to being assertive. We finally made an arrangement where Ben comes with me to deal with things. He is SO passive normally, but to make me happy (and knowing that he'll likely never have to deal with the people again since I normally take care of all of it) he plays bad cop to my good cop. So I'll be nice and sweet, and he'll be a bit more abrasive and insistent. It's worked well for us. Maybe James would be willing to be a bit grumpy to your nice and accepting of whatever crummy solution they give. Worth a try?

Melissa said...

Sorry Missy.
I think you have a backbone.
I like Jade's comment.

The Crandizzles said...

I sympathize. I'm just not a fast enough thinking to come up with the perfect thing to say on the spot. That's always been frustrating for me!